7 Days Without You
by queenkepner
Summary: 7 full days. 10,080 minutes. 604,800 seconds. Approximately 705,600 heartbeats, and Jackson loves her through every single heart beat. Jackson goes into a downward spiral when April refuses his confession. Will he get back? ONE SHOT.


It had been a week. 7 full days. 10,080 minutes. 604,800 seconds. Approximately 705,600 heartbeats, and April had not spoken one single word to Jackson.

It was the first time in his life Jackson felt vulnerable, like there was nothing he could actually do to mend the situation. He'd tried many times to talk to her, to give her big speeches, but the way she stared at him… It felt empty. As if the minute he pronounced the 3 fatal words her soul had been sucked out.

Maybe he was been too dramatic. But after the wedding fiasco, he went home and watched romantic movies while Alex gave him beer, after beer, after beer. There again, not one word was said. Not even when Jackson started crying at the end of Love Actually. Or even Pretty Woman. For once, Karev kept his mouth shut and became a good friend, a great friend even.

Neither of them ever spoke about that night again, and even if they had, no one would've believed that Jackson Avery, the Jackson Avery, spent his night crying over chick flicks and his failed grand gesture.

On Tuesday, he had to deal with Stephanie. Now Jackson didn't fully understand what he ever saw in her, because every time she tried to shout at him about how wrong what he did was, all he could picture was the familiar redhead and perky voice he loved so much. In that moment he realized no one could ever compare to her, so he let himself listen. She deserved it, anyway. After that he apologized, but Stephanie wouldn't hear any of it. Many names were mentioned "sleaze" being among his personal favourite. Anyway, she would get over it too. Right? … Right. Hopefully.

On Wednesday he decided to go to Joe's to change his mind, but every time a women approached him and tried to flirt Jackson couldn't help but think how cheap they all were compared to his beautiful best friend. Was it still appropriate to call her that? Hopefully. That night in a drunken decision he decided it would be a good idea to go to April's apartment. He knew she was home, but she also wouldn't open the door. So he sat down and started talking to the closed door about the wonderful movies he had watched.

"Did you know Love Actually was based on true stories? It took Harry and Sally 12 years to get together. Can you believe it? 12 freakin' years. They were best friends, and then they slept together.. And then they kissed. Say Anything is my personal favourite, though. Especially the holding a stereo part, very imaginative. I've only known you 6 years, does that mean I'll have to wait to hold a stereo? I'd hold a whole orchestra if I could. You know what? Breakfast at Tiffany's made me cry really hard. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you that. Maybe I'm not, I doubt you're listening. I'm drunk, way, way too drunk."

Finally, after talking to himself for hours, he decided to leave. But when he stood up to leave, Jackson heard silent sobs from the other side of the door, but as long as he tried knocking, she just kept ignoring him. So he silently walked home, occasionally letting a tear fall from his eyes.

Jackson refused to go to work on Thursday. Alex had tried to practically drag him out of bed, but in vain nothing worked. "I'll call you Cristina, or Mer.. or your Mom." But nothing worked, so he left him there. A few knocks echoed through the apartment throughout the day, but nothing could make him move from the warm spot in his bed. If he closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough, he could almost picture her. Beautiful red hair sprawled over the pillow, and the smile that always made him feel home. But when his bedroom door opened the thought vanished, and once again he was alone in bed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Get up." Meredith practically yelled at him. The whole day everyone had been nothing but nice, but it was time someone snapped him out of it. "You did a terrible thing, you don't get to feel bad!" But as soon as she uttered those words she could feel how truly sad he was. Not the normal sad either, just the really depressed kind. "Hey, Jackson. Come on."

"No. Did she go to work today?" And at Meredith's pained expression, he stopped talking. Actually, those were his last words for the next 24 hours.

He drank, a lot. And he left April drunk texts. In a moment of sobriety at what seemed like an hour less day, he suddenly wondered how everything at the hospital was. It'd been 4 days since the incident and he hadn't shown up. Maybe his mother would finally come to realize Jackson isn't cut out to be chief, maybe his own foundation will fire him. Maybe. However, those thoughts were quickly drowned with 2 bottles of tequila.

On Friday Catherine Avery dragged her son out of bed and into a nice restaurant to catch up with him, and hopefully knock some sense into him. "Jackson, baby. We're all very worried about you." And the whole hospital was, because he didn't eat, or go to work, all he did was cry and drink.

"Is she?" Jackson asked naively, although he knew the answer. Of course April wouldn't care, and she'd made that very clear when she chose Matthew at the altar. Deep down he knew that there was no way that he deserved her, but standing up at her wedding certainly gave him false expectations.

"You need to get back to work and get over it, I know it hurts but she's just a girl." His mother tried to reassure him, but it only managed to anger him.

"Just a girl? Mom, have you been listening at all? She's the girl. She's the one I want to spend the rest of my life waking up to; I want to build my whole life with her. She's perfect, no wait actually she isn't. Perfect is definitely not the right word to describe her… she's like.. A breath of fresh air. Like I was drowning and she saved me. And I want to tell her that for the rest of my life, but I can't. I can't because I screwed up, which seems to be something I'm particularly good at." Jackson tried to knock some of his sense into his mother, but it only made him realize that maybe he was the problem in all of this.

After that they only spoke about professional issues and Jackson's patients. She drove him home silently, but when they arrived at his apartment she kissed the top of his head. "You don't give up on her." And with that they parted ways.

It was funny how Jackson's life had always been the same. Gold, with everything handed to him on a silver platter. But when it came to April… she was the only good thing he'd had to fight for. She was the most amazing and captivating person he'd ever met. The best times of his life weren't silver linings, they were red. Red like her hair. Red like the color of her favourite dress. Red like the love he felt towards her every minute of every day.

Saturday was the day Jackson decided to get out of bed and drive. He didn't know where he was heading to until he ended up in front of a cemetery with yellow tulips on his backseat. He'd never been there by himself, since all the other times he'd been with April. She always took time to go take care of Charles and Reed's graves, and suddenly Jackson felt quite guilty for not coming as often as he should have.

The last time he had stepped foot into the cemetery was with April, only a few weeks before taking their boards. She had claimed it was important to go visit them, because they should've been going to San Francisco with them. Instead, Charles and Reed were dead. Not injured, not gone away, but dead. It'd taken Jackson a few months to grasp the reality of it.

When he arrived at their graves he was surprised to see fresh flowers already there. White roses. April's favorites. She had probably gone yesterday or the day before, which made Jackson sad because he knew how upset she got each time. Usually it would end up with him holding her as she cried softly, reminiscing their friends.

"Sorry I didn't come before." Jackson murmured to the two graves in front of him. "I messed up, really really bad. You would've laughed at me, Reed. And Charles, you would never had let me live it down. It couldn't have gone any worse though, so that's that."

The empty graveyard was eerily quiet as he continued talking. "You know, I lied. Mercy West forever was a thing, but my pride really did get in the way. I miss you guys. Like really, epically miss you. And I haven't come enough times to tell you that, so I'm guessing you don't really miss me wherever you are. I'm sorry. About everything." And that's when he put down the flowers next to April's, and walked away. He didn't feel better or worse, but the guilt of never coming here was finally lifted off of his shoulders. Even the eerie graveyard pushed him to go forward.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful, he did charts for most of it, checked up on his patients, and decided to drink when he'd finished. Alex came by to check on him, and he brought Cristina.

"Pretty boy! Haven't seen much of you around." Cristina yelled, obviously trying to lift Jackson's spirits per Alex's request.

"We brought one of Sloan's old tapes to watch, figured it might get your mind of… things." Alex finally spoke up. It was funny to think how supportive Alex had been, considering his history of being a jack-ass. But Jackson knew deep down Alex was a good and kind friend, but never, and he truly meant never, would he admit it. Or maybe he would. Last time he hadn't his friend ended up dying. Yeah, maybe he should.

"You're a good friend, Alex. A really good friend." Jackson smiled sloppily as the 3 of them settled down on the couch and started watching.

"Yeah yeah, don't mention it." Alex retorted, which made all 3 of them laugh. And they did, they laughed a lot during that night. Mostly at Sloan's funny comments when Jackson messed up a stitch, but the laughter grew silent when a familiar red head appeared on the screen.

"Dr Sloan? Could I quickly check the patient's incisions my intern made earlier?" April quirkily asked. Alex and Cristina went pale, suddenly feeling very out of place.

"Shit dude, I'm sorry, I didn't k-"

"It's fine." Jackson smiled. And it was, for a little while. Because he enjoyed watching her red hair behind her cute scrub cap, and the way her face scrunched up when she tried to concentrate. All those cute little quirks made him feel slightly better, it was like they were back to the old times. The better times. The times where they were still best friends.

The next morning marked the 6th day without a word from April. When he woke up Jackson knew it wasn't going to be a good day. It was Sunday, exactly 6 days since the.. incident. Wasn't he supposed to feel better? So instead of trying to understand, he just started drinking a whole bottle of vodka. At 10am. On a Sunday.

So nobody should've been surprised that at 1pm he called April, and of course, no surprises again, when he was directed to her voicemail.

"H-hey. I think I'm drunk. No wait I am drunk." Jackson chuckled sadly into his phone. "I miss you, in a very big, I want-to-hold-you-forever kind of way. That's pretty sad, right? I mean, you're married now. I'm sorry." And he was, because at that moment his throat started to feel clogged and silent tears welled up in his eyes. "Anyway." He breathed heavily. "Did you know my favourite color's red? I mean, most people assume that it's grey or dark blue, but it's red. Everything I love is red. Christmas ornaments, roses, wine, and.. you. You're red. Remember that notebook you used to carry around? That was red. And your favourite shade of lipstick is red. Your favourite dress is red. And your hair.. it's the most beautiful shade of red. Maybe I'm biased. But it is." And now it was undeniable that he was crying. "Anyway, I called you because I miss you. And I'm drunk." With that he hit send.

Maybe he would regret it later, or maybe he wouldn't. Truthfully, Jackson doubted he would even remember it later, considering how many whiskeys he was downing one after the other.

At the end of the day his mother called him, and wasn't pleased to hear that he was drunk.. again. "Baby, do I have to come back to Seattle?" She asked concerned, but he told her not to. Maybe after some time it would stop hurting. Deep down though, he really knew it wouldn't. It wouldn't ever stop hurting because she was gone and it was all of his fault.

Before going to bed, Jackson decided to re-watch "When Harry met Sally" and once again didn't fight back the tears. It was funny how in 6 days he had cried more than in 6 years. And over stupid little things that were entirely caused by him.

It hit him like a ton of bricks that maybe she would never speak to him. That April Kepner would one day become a distant memory, only remembered when he would get too drunk. But that was a blatant lie. Because she was the one. The one to make him cry, the one to make him smile, the one. They'd held each other's hands through their best friends' funerals, and April had always spent long hours on the phone with him after Mark's death.

It was like.. the universe kept pulling them together. Just waiting for them to see that they were meant to be together, and then.. Jackson screwed up. They both did actually, but she pleaded him to give her a reason multiple times, only to be flat out rejected by him.

Monday morning marked a week since he had screwed everything. But it also marked a week since he'd been to work. Jackson didn't have much time to think about it because his door burst open in a halt.

"Get up. Get dressed. Take your charts with you. Now." Callie ordered, and he did as he was told obviously very confused. "Snap out of it."

So he did, kind of. He got dressed and silently followed Callie to her car, which was funny because he wasn't sure they'd ever actually spoken properly, but it was a nice thing she was doing, or maybe it wasn't. Lately, Jackson wasn't really understanding most of what was going on around him.

"You know what Mark would've done if he saw you like this, right? He would've kicked your ass. Hard. You're an idiot. That's what he would've said. How do you expect to get the woman that you love back if you keep getting drunk and moping around?" Callie ranted angrily, and it made Jackson feel better. For a bit. Until they pulled up at the place he'd been avoiding for the past week.

Suddenly Callie's face grew softer and she patted his shoulder encouragingly. "Come on." And with that, they both walked into the building.

It was funny how much could change over the course of a week. Jackson had found this whole different side of himself which made him feel like a stranger to himself.

Life is no Nicholas Sparks movie. And even if you're a Harry and you finally meet your Sally, things will still not turn out the way you want them to. People will die out of nowhere, and your best friend will slip away from you like quicksand. But you shouldn't let it stop you. Hell, try and stand up at a wedding if that's your last option. Because it's worth a shot. "You fought, you loved, you lost." Callie smiled at him before going her own direction.

But it wasn't until he laid eyes on the woman who'd been haunting his thoughts for the past week that suddenly, his heart felt like it would explode. Which is ridiculous, considering he's a doctor and knows very well that's impossible. But right there, it felt like that.

It was like the ending of when Harry met Sally. Harry realizes he's in love with her, and he tells her. The movie ends with them kissing, and that scene made his heart wrench because he knew there was no way she would even talk to him. And just when he thought he was hallucinating, April made his way to him.

"Hey." She smiled. Jackson felt surprisingly nervous, which was funny considering no one in the world knew him better than him.

"I- Uh- I'm sorry for the.. drunk messages…and I uh.. I'm sorry.. But I do. I love you." He tried to reason out but the words kept getting jumbled up in his mind once he stared at her reassuring eyes. "I love the way you scrunch your nose when you're concentrating, and I love the freckles under your eyes. I like the way you smile when we kiss, and I just.. I love you. I love you when you're a crazy trauma surgeon, I love you when you're the one holding my hand through everything tough, I love you when you're tired and say everything that pops into your mind. I love you, all the time."

"I didn't get married." And that's when Jackson felt as if a cold ice bucket had been poured down his back. "It didn't feel right."

"It.. it didn't?"

"Why would I get married to someone else when I'm in love with you?" She whispered, and that's when he couldn't take it anymore. With a few simple words she made his life feel whole again, and he picked her up, spun her around, and finally… kissed her. It wasn't as heated and passionate as they had shared previously, but it was sweet, full of love and promises.

"You're my Sally." He smiled. "I'm Harry, and you're Sally. And I want to be with you forever." And with that they kissed again.

It had been a week. 7 full days. 10,080 minutes. 604,800 seconds. Approximately 705,600 heartbeats, and with a few words April made Jackson feel like the luckiest man in the world.


End file.
